An army of oversized, orange-toothed swamp rats is devouring America’s wetlands, and the government has a solution: Kill them. Cook them. Eat them.
These insatiable invaders—nutria—are South American rodents built like beavers with the appetites of locusts. They chew through marshes, leaving behind scorched-earth landscapes that look like something out of a post-apocalyptic nature documentary. Their burrowing weakens levees, their foraging decimates crops, and they don’t mind carrying a few diseases for good measure—think tuberculosis and septicemia.
The US Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) has had enough. Officials are urging Americans to take up arms (or at least a good recipe) and start turning these ecological menaces into dinner. Nutria meat, they claim, tastes like rabbit or dark turkey, which is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about them.
If you’ve got nutria in your state, FWS suggests checking local regulations before launching your own rodent-hunting career. Some places have strict rules about trapping, hunting, and cooking invasive species—because apparently, even swamp rats have legal rights.
These creatures have already staked their claim in the southern US, with strongholds in Texas, Louisiana, and Florida. But they’re not content to stay in the warm, humid swamps of the Gulf—they’ve spread to Oregon, Washington, California, Ohio, Maryland, New York, and Massachusetts. If they had passports, they’d be stamped with a full tour of the Eastern Seaboard.
Nutria prefer to live near permanent water sources, meaning rivers, lakes, and marshes are prime real estate. They look almost respectable from a distance—until you get a glimpse of their massive, pumpkin-orange teeth and unsettlingly thin tails. Imagine a beaver that lost a bet with evolution.
The government isn’t alone in endorsing the Great Nutria Feast. In Louisiana, chefs have experimented with nutria gumbo, tacos, and even sausages. Because if history has taught us anything, it’s that if something exists in the bayou, someone will figure out how to turn it into dinner.
For now, the message is clear: These rodents aren’t going away on their own. America’s wetlands are at stake, and your dinner table might just be the last line of defense.
Five Fast Facts
- Nutria can reproduce at an alarming rate, with females capable of having up to three litters per year, each with as many as 13 offspring.
- These rodents were originally introduced to the US for their fur, but when the industry collapsed, they escaped or were released—leading to today’s infestation.
- Nutria have a set of glands that produce an oil to keep their fur waterproof, making them excellent swimmers.
- Their bright orange teeth are the result of iron in their enamel, which strengthens them—perfect for gnawing through roots, crops, and levees.
- Some wildlife officials have nicknamed nutria “swamp rats,” though they are more closely related to guinea pigs than actual rats.